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Joke of the Day

"How long can one listen to a kid talk before it's officially considered a hostage situation?"

"What does a barcode say if he bumps into another barcode? SKU me"

"Did you hear about the new virtual reality fellatio program? It's a real mind-blowing experience."

"What's Gordon Ramsay's favorite movie? IT'S FUCKING FROZEN"

"I was fooling around with my new Roomba... I guess you could call it nice, clean fun."

"My wife told me she wanted kinky sex... So I gave her the ghomeshi"

"What does violent diarrhoea and a bar fight have in common? Blood on your stool"

"Why wouldn't the worker accept 10 fresh chickens as a reward for saving a farm on fire? It was a poultry amount"

"Wow you changed your makeup in 16 different hot ways. And where did you learn those 8 moves that drove me wild *sees Cosmo on the table* ah"

"What do you call a lion in the circus. A Carny-vore"