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Joke of the Day

"I was fooling around with my new Roomba... I guess you could call it nice, clean fun."

"Just stepped on the scale. Now I have to replace a broken window and add $467 to the curse word jar."

"Doctor: What seems to be th- Me: -Medicinal marijuana! Doc: I'm sorry? Me: Let's start with the answer, then work on the problem, ok?"

"Today I was asked by a Red Cross member if I could help towards the floods in Pakistan I said I would, but I don't have a hose that reaches that far"

"My ex-wife still misses me BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER! HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER! Ya see its funny because marriage is terrible."

"A science major says ""What's it made of?"" An engineering major says ""How is it made?"" An arts major says... ""Would you like fries with that?"""

"How can you tell which nurse is the head nurse at a hospital? She's the one with the dirty knees."

"next time you're considering wearing a fedora just think ""what would jesus do?"" because jesus wouldn't wear a fedora."

"Had sex with a socialist girl a little while back. Think I'm gonna need to see a doctor. whenever I pee, I start to feel the Bern."

"Small Horse - Tai Ni Po Ni"