13564

Joke of the Day

"Wow you changed your makeup in 16 different hot ways. And where did you learn those 8 moves that drove me wild *sees Cosmo on the table* ah"

"Donald Trump like his women like he likes his Geneva Conventions Mostly ignored, but regularly violated."

"How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? Rotten eggs"

"My stepfather, beating me black and blue, was no accident. Just a terrible faux pa."

"What's the difference between ignorance, apathy, and ambivalence? I don't know, and I don't care one way or the other."

"One day I'll cure blindness. You'll see! You'll all see!"

"The director of EA walks into a bar *Download the punchline for only 4.99* Edit: Thank you for the gold, kind Redditor!"

"My father used to say ""Take everything with a pinch of salt"" Nice man. Made terrible tea."

"I'm fairly tall so folks are always asking me ""Do you play basketball?"" My standard reply: ""No, do you play miniature golf?"""

"The best way to get over someone is probably with your car"