69741

Joke of the Day

"kanye west slowly pacing around the room to avoid a bee but insisting that he's not scared of it"

"I heard there was a website to find missing sausage.... But I couldn't find the link"

"If you're suddenly feeling warm and wet, it might be because I put your Voodoo doll somewhere warm and wet."

"What's pink, bubbly and scratches at glass? A baby in a microwave"

"I was playing guitar and someone asked if I could play Wonderwall ...I said maybe.."

"A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. ""Well Skip"" said the scout ""Mum had only one dose of castor oil left so I let my baby brother have it."""

"You know a girl is too young for you... If you have to make the aeroplane noise to get your cock in her mouth Credit: Jimmy Carr"

"Cat: Meow Me: Hi Cat: Meoww *picks up cat* Cat: Meowww *puts cat down* Cat: Meowwww *feeds cat* Cat: Meowwwww Me: WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

"What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked? A Seatbelt!"

"My friend, who is a landscaper, was cheating on his wife and I told him to stop. He replied, ""it's hard man.. I got to much love for the hoes"""