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Joke of the Day

"My friend, who is a landscaper, was cheating on his wife and I told him to stop. He replied, ""it's hard man.. I got to much love for the hoes"""

"Honesty is the best policy, unless you're trying to return something that you've already worn."

"What did one fetus say to the other? Guess we're wombmates!"

"""One man's trash is another man's treasure"" is a great saying... But apparently a bad way to tell your kid they're adopted."

"Want to know a Harry Potter riddle? Tom Marvolo"

"I would tell you a FedEx joke... but you'd probably wouldn't receive it until a week or so."

"How do you say bra in German? dashud sthapem from flappen"

"If your name is Willis then you automatically have no idea what the fuck you're talkin bout."

"you're her boyfriend?! That's cool! I'm her manfriend!"

"I identified a body yesterday. ""That's a body!"" I said."