69643

Joke of the Day

"Have you guys seen the movie about Flapjacks? Don't. It was critically panned."

"Why are all those people running? A: Why are all those people running? B: They are running a race to get a cup. A: Who will get the cup? B: The person who wins. A: Then why are all the others running?"

"How to run faster: 1. Drink a lot of water 2. Wait till u have to pee 3. Start running You're welcome"

"[hospital] ""We found the problem. There's an entire sheep in your stomach."" ""Is that bahahaad?"" ""Yes. It's causing some internal bleating."""

"A woman at Wal-mart said she was better than me. I told her to get off her high scooter."

"What time does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon at? Tennish."

"How do you say 50 cents name in Zimbabwe? 400 MILLION DOLLARS!!!"

"My manager at the millinery has a really short temper I mean he gets really angry at the drop of a hat!"

"I always tell my kids that it's ok to make mistakes as long as you learn how to blame them on other people."

"Caught my food taking a picture of me. When I confronted it, it said it was for its people blog? What a creep."