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Joke of the Day
"This day needs cyanide."
Next Joke
"Because its action precedes its cause. Why did the tachyon cross the road?"
"I tried to wear skinny jeans but it squeezed all my flesh into the top half of my body and made me look like a novelty balloon."
"""that's me in the corner."" - r.e.m. explaining how facetime works"
"What do blind trains read? Raile!"
"Capitalism is controlled by an ""invisible hand"" that gives most people the invisible finger."
"I kept trying to think of puns about the eye during my biology lesson, when we dissected one. To be honest, they kept getting cornea and cornea...."
"I consider myself very decisive.. I guess."
"Why did Nobelium's car got towed away? He parked at a *No* parking!"
"Sorry I yelled ""chug it"" to your baby, as you were breastfeeding."