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Joke of the Day

"I brought a classical musician back from the past to prove that my time-machine works, but I can't find him. He must be Haydn."

"How do you know when your roommate is gay? His dick tastes like shit.."

"Donald Trump's chief speechwriter is a random deck from Cards Against Humanity."

"Why did the redneck cross the road His dick was stuck in the chicken"

"I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia where I deny the existence of certain 80s bands. there is no cure."

"if you say ""summer"" in the mirror three times a white girl in giant sunglasses drinking an iced coffee will appear and take selfies with you"

"Your inability to learn complicated handshakes is tearing this gang apart."

"Did you hear the one about the Dyslexic bank robber H ran in to the bank with his gun drawn and yelled ""Put your air up in the hands mother stickers, this is a fuck up""!"

"What do you call a black lady having an abortion? A hero"

"I want to be a pilot, but mostly so I'd have an excuse to tell passengers, ""Where we're going, we don't need roads."""