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Joke of the Day

"Lazy People Fact #5812672793 You were too lazy to read that number"

"When I was a kid my Fairy-Godmother asked me if I wanted a long penis or a long memory I can't remember what did I chose!"

"I spent the entire day throwing darts at a picture of my wife. *wife phones* Wife: What you doing? Husband: Missing you."

"So one physicist asks another physicist So what's new? The physicists responds, C over Lambda."

"What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother? Eventually the Rottweiler lets go."

"I saw a TV for sale for only 1 because the volume button was stuck Did I buy it? Of course I did! Well, I couldn't turn it down Could I?"

"Why do you need sauce with sausages? Well if you didn't have the sauce then sausages would just be ""a jizz"""

"Why did the nurse always insist on using the rectal thermometer to obtain temperatures? Because nurses are taught in nursing school to always look for her patient's best side."

"At first I didn't know how to dig a trench but then I got to the bottom of it."

"SHENG WANG: FUN AT THE PARK Ordinarily, staring is creepy. But if you spread your attention across many individuals, then it's just people watching."