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Joke of the Day

"Today was boring, I hung around in my underwear all day... got kicked out of quite a few businesses though."

"Why can't the hydraulic press guy bring himself to crush a can of sprite? Because it's soda pressing"

"i've never seen a girl under 21 whose iphone screen wasn't cracked."

"It still makes me sad to think there are people out there who have a favorite Kardashian."

"What do you name a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter. He won't come."

"Guys, ladies love romance. Tell her something sweet like: You make me harder than the final level of Super Mario Bros."

"Add a word to ruin a movie: - Batman Begins College - The Longest Yard Sale - Charlottes Web Cam."

"All things in moderation. Unless no one's looking."

"How can you tell if an elephant has been in the fridge? There are footprints in the butter"

"[Spelling Bee] Judge: Your word is 'babe' Bee: B-A-E J: Sorry. There's another 'B' Bee: WHAT! WHERE? *goes crazy* *stings Judge* *dies*"