17779

Joke of the Day

"Why can't the hydraulic press guy bring himself to crush a can of sprite? Because it's soda pressing"

"What did the melon say to the banana when it proposed? Yes! But we cantaloupe."

"Failed another job interview today. Apparently taking part in an orgy isn't proof that you can effectively work as part of a team"

"Why did the short vampire like to gamble? Because the stakes were high!"

"What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? Iron Man is a superhero, Iron Woman is a command. ALL credit goes to /u/eternityinspace had to share it!"

"""Just Do It"" - Nike/Alcohol"

"Who is this Rorschach guy and why does he have so many pictures of my parents fighting?"

"The Pirate and the alphabet Why does it take a pirate so long to finish saying the alphabet? Because they spend years at sea."

"The Model Her Garb was just pure Garbage, and she had a silly old Bag: she drank so much that we all went Dutch.-and of course she lost her Rag."

"How do sailors finish a corny joke on a boat? Ba dum ship."