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Joke of the Day

"Why can't the hydraulic press guy bring himself to crush a can of sprite? Because it's soda pressing"

"What do you call a mentally challenged lion? A leotard"

"What's the difference between a hippopotamus and a Zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter."

"I was suffering from pinkeye for a long time until I found www.curing-conjunctivitis.com It was a site for sore eyes"

"What's the difference between a woman and a toilet? A toilet can become president."

"Today it's National Take Off Your Cap Day Hats off to whoever founded it."

"What's the difference between Det. Rust Cohle and a psychopath? Psychopaths are fun at parties."

"Terrifying to think that every Chinese person is a deadly karate-bomb, just waiting for the slightest provocation to explode."

"I burned my Hawaiian pizza today... I shoulda cooked it at aloha temperature."

"What does it look like when you microwave a baby? Not sure, I close my eyes when I masturbate"