1630
Joke of the Day
"All things in moderation. Unless no one's looking."
Next Joke
"Most black 15 year-olds in this country are decent, law abiding citizens. It's their kids who cause all the trouble."
"They hired another Russian guy at my work He seems to think everything that Ukrainian guy tells him is so obvious."
"How can you tell if a girls tinder profile is fake? They're attractive!"
"Two monkeys get into a bath... The first monkey says: ""OOOO OOO AHHHH AHHHH AHHHH"". The second monkey says: ""Put some cold in then."""
"If I were a bird, you'd be the first person I'd shit on."
"What do you call a guy with eight dicks? A coctopus"
"sorry I haven't been tweeting much lately. I've been reading the Cheesecake Factory menu"
"Nurse: You need to eat or you can't have your pain meds. Me: Do the thing. Nurse: Me: Nurse: *holding fork* [sigh]*makes airplane noise*"
"My dog hunted down and killed a lizard today... You could say it was his hunting inskinkt."