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Joke of the Day

"In the Garden of Eden... In the Garden of Eden, Eve wore a fig leaf. Do you know what Adam wore? A hole in it."

"""How did you get those scars?"" [Flashback to me running into a glass door] They're from Cage fighting."

"Why do all the ladies love Jesus? (spreads out arms to fullest length) Because he was hung like this."

"I love the snow. Some of my best friends are flakes."

"A guy at work just bought me ice cream and now we're making out. I've never been this intimate with ice cream before."

"What is brown and sticky? A brown stick."

"Why do women have babies? Because it hurts and they deserve it"

"It was a good decision to remove all the mirrors from my car I haven't looked back since."

"Thank you for teaching me the meaning of the word ""much."" It means a lot."

"Your momma's so fat... she's always #1 in agar.io."