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Joke of the Day

"A guy at work just bought me ice cream and now we're making out. I've never been this intimate with ice cream before."

"What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it!"

"I was fired from my job as a mortician after I was caught having sex on the job I guess it was the final nail in the coffin."

"What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job."

"Flight Attendant: ""Would you like some headphones?"" Me: ""How did you know my name is Phones?"""

"Oh you're in the shower? Here's the seven worst songs from your playlist. - shuffle mode"

"Hello jokesters! How about we show off our best 'I'm so poor that...' jokes. Fell free to put any joke that you feel is funny."

"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because you were the only car in the lot and I parked so close you couldn't open your door."

"I went to a library... and asked the librarian if they had a book on Pavlov's dogs and Schrodinger's cat. She said, ""Well it rings a bell but I'm not sure if it's there or not."""

"If you're a douchebag, it's so easy to find the right hat."