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Joke of the Day

"What do toilet paper and The Star Trek Enterprise have in common? They both circle Uranus in search of Klingons."

"I'm like a Rubik's Cube, the more you play with me the harder I get!"

"Ever get home, look at your hair in a mirror, and wonder how many small children you terrified while you were out"

"What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbit? ""You going to eat that?"""

"The definition of Irony: Your job sucks Your kids suck Your life sucks Your wife...doesn't"

"Friend ran in the Boston Marathon, He said he had a blast but can't feel his legs."

"What do you call a musician Trump supporter? A Trump-et"

"The Walmart app just updated on my phone and now water autocorrects to soda and exercise autocorrects to Doritos and beer."

"My dad got fired for having sex with one of his patients the other day. Which is a shame because he was a really good vet."

"How do Batman's parents call him to dinner? They don't; they're dead."