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Joke of the Day

"I'm like a Rubik's Cube, the more you play with me the harder I get!"

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"Why is it I cant get a mobile reception in my house in town, yet a terrorist can upload his vids from a cave in Afganistan? Is there a terrorist mobile tariff I can go on??"
"American Apparel has really cornered the market on the modern, independent date rape victim."
"I am the worst writer in the world until I finish writing, at which point I immediately become a goddamn genius. This is relatable content."
"When I was a kid I made all of my toys watch Toy Story so that they knew I was on to them."
"What's the difference between a dragon and a cheap hooker? One of them blows fire."
"How does a orphan change a light bulb? They grab the stack of un-signed adoption papers, stand on top of them, then proceed to change the light bulb."
"What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden? A seizure salad"
"If a tree falls in the woods and the wife's not there to witness it, it'll be my fault when i get home."
"What's a porn stars favorite drink? 7up in cider"