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Joke of the Day

"A construction worker comes home from work. He tells his wife, ""Honey, I cut off my finger today."" She replies, ""The whole finger!?"" He says, ""No, the one right next to it."""

"I rented a tuxedo then didn't need it. Do you know how hard it is to sublet a tuxedo?"

"After finishing my pint really quickly, the barman told me to calm down. I said, ""You're telling me? You just drunk my pint!"""

"So I was having sex with a crazy girl. I was fucking insane ..."

"The US has so many disasters You would almost think it was built on top of thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds."

"A Pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says to the pirate, 'do you know you have a steering wheel in your pants?' The pirate says, 'Arrrrrgh! It's drivin' me nuts!'"

"what does a good bar and a good woman have in common? Liquor in the front and poker in the back"

"There was a groping incident at work. I apologized but they fired me anyways."

"My wife gets scared easily... She's got no balls."

"What Do You Call an Epileptic in a Pile of Leaves? Russell"