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Joke of the Day

"""do you know the best way to get rid of a wasp nest?"" no, try using your phone [throws phone and hits wasp nest] *running* I meant google it"

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"What did the double hand amputee get for Christmas? I don't know, he hasn't managed to open it yet."
"ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking, please fasten your seatbelts i wanna try something"
"Two goldfish are in a tank... One said, ""you man the guns, and I'll drive""."
"When you are hit in the... - ball boy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMMFHcRSjR8"
"What's the difference between a violinist and a fiddler? How red their necks are."
"How easy is it for wind gusts to talk to each other? -It is a breeze"
"I live off my music and the pain it inflicts on others."
"Why did David Schwimmer need ear drops? He had Schwimmer's ear."
"What would you hear at a cow concert? Moo-sic!"