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Joke of the Day

"How is being married like puttin' on a tin roof? If you don't nail her good she'll be at the neighbors."

"Come on guys, lemme back in the gang! I'm real good at crimes! ""No"" Why? ""YOU GOT ARRESTED BY A POLICE HORSE CARL HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE"""

"What do you call a bouncer at a.. What do you call a bouncer at a gay bar? A flame thrower."

"The first 1500 pictures of your kids were cute, now it's a bit much."

"How does NASA organize a party They planet"

"How did Harry Potter make it to the bottom of the hill? By walking... jk rolling"

"Why are Panda's always sad? Because all their friends are dead."

"How to make-out - 1. Hold her close 2. Kiss passionately 3. Don't mention the budget deficit or your father"

"Dinosaurs naming their non-hetero children. What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalotopuss."

"I met a geologist the other day He seemed gneiss."