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Joke of the Day

"Dinosaurs naming their non-hetero children. What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalotopuss."

"Caught myself staring into the medicine cabinet like I do with the refrigerator."

"My mom drove her car into a tree. She sure found out how a Mercedes bends."

"Did you know that all of the trigonometric functions are female? Yup, They all have periods!"

"If Twitter has done nothing else, it's trained me to spell words like diarrhea, gonorrhea & chlamydia without spell check."

"How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? ..To get to the other side!"

"How did the frog die? He kermitted suicide. I'm sorry"

"Alien: take me to your leader. Me: They all suck. How about I take you to this place I know where you can get amazing mini donuts?"

"What do you call a transvestite in Spanish? HERmano"

"I hate it when I'm at someone's party and they keep asking stupid questions like... ""Who are you?"" and ""Is that a gun?"""