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Joke of the Day

"Come on guys, lemme back in the gang! I'm real good at crimes! ""No"" Why? ""YOU GOT ARRESTED BY A POLICE HORSE CARL HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE"""

"Why did the janitor take early retirement? Because he realized that grime doesn't pay."

"If you're the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room."

"what do you call a grenade thrown into a french kitchen? linoleum blownapart"

"If all men are the same, why do women take so long to choose one...?"

"I really hate to get religious on here, but have you seen the thigh gap on Jesus. DAYUM!"

"some dogs can find bodies that have been buried for years & mine can't even find a cracker that hit him in the face on the way to the floor"

"Having watched the entire season of a show before me doesn't make you better than me, it makes you more unemployed than me"

"I'm going to name my son Red so he'll grow up to be a wise sportswriter or the prison inmate who knows how to get things. Hopefully both."

"I like to think that the lead singer of Limp Bizkit sorts out his own affairs before seeing to other peoples... Durst's things First"