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Joke of the Day

"Hey, do you like analogies? I got plenty! I got analogy to rabbits, analogy to grass, analogy to mold..."

"A fun dream I have is to stand in the middle of Comic-Con, yell ""What's so cool about Star Wars anyway?"", then jetpack through the ceiling."

"There are 10 types of people in the world: People who understand ternary, people who don't, and people who thought this was going to be the binary joke."

"I respect how the Hamburglar was like, ""Hey, I know I'm at rock bottom here, but I'm going to be professional about it and wear a tie."""

"Q: Did you hear about the blond Bear? A: Got stuck in a hunter's trap, chewed off it's 2 paws and 1 leg, and was still stuck."

"A man shows up to his psychiatrist completely naked but covered with saran wrap... Psychiatrist says, ""I can clearly see you're nuts!"""

"Two penguins are chilling in Antarctica. One turns to the other and says, ""Yo, it's really fucking cold."" The other quickly looks at the penguin and exclaims, ""Oh my god! You can talk!"""

"""Saying hot is disrespectful. You should say beautiful instead."" ""Fine. Can you pass me the beautiful sauce then?"""

"Sometimes I spend whole meetings wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door."

"I had an Ethiopian blend of coffee this morning... It didn't taste very rich."