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Joke of the Day

"In the spirit of mother's day Roses are Red Violets are blue Pornhub is down Your moms facebook will do"

"My grocery store keeps rearranging the produce section. If I need to work this hard to find bananas, there better be a damn tropical breeze!"

"Wanna hear a construction joke? I'm working on it."

"You guys are so selfish, only think about yourselves, not important stuff. Who the FUCK is going to narrate Morgan Freemans life? WHO?!"

"I just got an email that Netzero closed my account due to inactivity, I guess that must have taken 12 years to get here."

"What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? ""See you next month."""

"Boy giraffe: You wanna? Girl giraffe: Ok, but kiss my neck first. Boy giraffe: But Babe, we only have 3 hours!"

"Stranger: so what do you do? Me: I'm in seminary S: seminary huh? so you can't get married? M: nah, I can't get married bc of my personality"

"My wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him."

"I hate people with erectile dysfunction no hard feelings"