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Joke of the Day

"Wanna get rich? Buy my book, 'How to Get Stupid People on the Internet to Send You $39.95' for only $39.95."

"I'm like a bike... My girlfriend never rides me."

"A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a door. And then a staircase. I don't think hes alright, can someone get a doctor?"

"Q: Why do dwarfs laugh when they play soccer? Because the grass tickles their balls."

"I just bought a Bonnie Tyler sat-nav. It keeps telling me to turn around, and every now and then it falls apart."

"Two peanuts were walking down the street one was assaulted."

"What's the second fastest thing in the world? > Your asshole pinching shut after dropping a deuce. What's *the* fastest thing in the world? > The ice-cold drop of water that gets in first."

"Why are elephants big, wrinkled, grey, and hairy? Because if they were small, smooth, white, and hairless, they'd beaspirin tablets!"

"What's the difference between Jews and Boy Scouts? Boy Scouts come back from their camps."

"The only chance of me reaching the third base ever... ...is while playing baseball"