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Joke of the Day

"My doctor told me to start killing people. Well not in those exact words. He said I need to reduce the stress in my life. Same thing."

"A horse walks into a bar.. The bartender asks ""why the long face?"" The horse, unable to speak English, shits on the floor and then leaves."

"It would be easier to keep my New Year's resolution to accept and forgive people if they'd stop being the same jerks they were last year."

"Want to hear two short jokes and a long joke? Joke. Joke. Jooooooooooke."

"I call my printer Bob Marley. Because it's always Jammin'."

"If there's a denim jacket on my doorknob it means I'm having sex with a werewolf."

"Went to a nude beach today and let me tell you- I had a lot of women's attention. I could just feel them dressing me with their eyes."

"At my funeral, I want a homie to adjust my junk one last time. I'm not gonna rest peacefully if my balls are pinched between my legs."

"Everyone has a friend who laughs funnier than he jokes."

"Who is a bee's favourite painter ? Pablo Beecasso !"