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Joke of the Day

"Two sausages are in a pan. One looks at the other and says, ""Gosh, it's hot in here"", and the other sausage says, ""JESUS CRIST, IT'S A TALKING SAUSAGE"""

"[touching face upon receiving compliment] Glad you like it. But, it's not a teardrop tattoo. It's an Oxford comma."

"Are you cold? (Yes) Then go sit in a corner, cause it's 90 degrees."

"What do you call a bouncer at a gay bar? A flamethrower"

"What goes cluck, cluck, cluck, boom? A chicken stepping on a landmine."

"Why couldn't the pickle leave the bar? Because the door was ajar!"

"I like to take candy from a kid cause sugar is bad for them. Then, I eat it in front of them while saying, ""don't do this"""

"Don't ever do that again knock know who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? .... You said you'd never forget"

"How can you tell if you at the gay BBQ?!? Its when all the Hot Dogs smell like shit!!!"

"How many police does it take to change a lightbulb? They don't, they beat the room for being black."