69153
Joke of the Day
"Been told I'm a pretty awful human being. I stopped listening after he said I was pretty."
Next Joke
"Sonny: I can't sleep. What should I do? Counselor: Lie near the edge of the bed. That way you'll be sure to drop off!"
"Sorry, sarcasm falls out of my mouth, like stupidity falls out of yours."
"So I just learned ejaculation comes out at 27mph. That makes it illegal in a School zone."
"If you wake up tomorrow with Santa jacking off at your bedside, do not be alarmed. He is giving you a white Christmas"
"If your wife says ""what would you do without me?"" ""Live happily ever after"" is NOT the correct answer. Brrrr it's cold in this doghouse :("
"The other day I made some beer with a bunch of bunnies. It turned out very hoppy."
"Wife still out of town. I'm afraid if I order Dominos again they will call child services."
"WIFE: I got us this new candle ME: sweet. What flavor is it? W: don't you mean 'what scent is it?' ME (with a mouthful of candle wax): What?"
"I do 5 sit-ups every morning. It may not sound like much, but there's only so many times you can hit the snooze button."