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Joke of the Day

"If a picture frame doesn't have the word ""memories"" written on it in giant cursive letters, how do I know what I'm looking at?!"

"Enough Holocaust jokes. My grandfather died at Auschwitz. Just kidding. He was there though."

"Friend told me he buffed up without any protein shakes. No whey."

"Is there some organization that evaluates the quality of shea butter? Because if so, it could have Fifty Grades of Shea."

"BILLY CORGAN: the world is a vampire ME: wouldn't it explode into flames as soon as the sun hit it then? BILLY: shut up *runs off crying*"

"If I had a dollar for every time I heard ""grow up!"" I could buy a seriously awesome security system to keep doody heads out of my fort."

"Misplaced apostrophes are just as annoying as the question mark I've used here?"

"A 747 just landed at Heathrow Airport in London. After the captain shutdown the engines you could still hear the whining."

"George refuses to date a woman when he sees her on 2 different dating apps. G:""It's too desperate."" J:""How'd you find out?"" G:""I'm on both."""

"My sister was gangraped by the New York Philharmonic It was orchestrated."