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Joke of the Day

"When my robot left me for Africa I had to ask why. ""Why are you moving there?"" ""Because! Botswana! Duh"""

"My son has the worst altitude ever. He's defiant, rude and floating like six feet off the ground."

"Game of Thrones The only porn you DO watch for the plot"

"The safe word is ""MMMBop."""

"According to the police, public masturbation is not considered a ""street performance"". Even if you have a hat on the ground on front of you."

"What should you do if a bird poos on your car? Don't ask her out again"

"Yo mama so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals."

"""Pres. Trump, how do you plan to respond to this attack on our soil?"" TRUMP: OK first, I've seen several people call me Tronald Dump online"

"What happens when two pastries divorce? They have a custardy battle"

"What do you call two Canadians buy coffee? Double double doubles"