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Joke of the Day
"If apple made a car would it have windows?"
Next Joke
"Name one thing Taylor Swift doesn't have in her purse Her boyfriend's phone number"
"Me: Damn girl your new selfie is awesome but isn't it a bit late to zombiefy yourself? Her: What's zombiefy? Me: ...Your hair looks great!"
"What do you get when you cross Kate Upton with royalty? A bouncy castle."
"Friend: [rubs my shoulder] Aw, honey, your life isn't over. It's just beginning! Me: *sobs even harder"
"Too ugly for the people I want. Too hot for the people who want me."
"How do you shut up a deaf person? Punch them in the hands."
"What do you call a gay herbal doctor? A homeosexual."
"Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh. - *My little brother told me this one; hit me with a little bit of nostalgia.*"
"What does being in the mafia and eating pussy have in common? One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit."