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Joke of the Day

"I don't know why friends and family keep getting pregnant when I have two kids right here they can have."

"I went to a party at Paris Hilton's place last night. The party was fun but now I feel hungover. I tried to take some paracetamol but Paris-ate-them-all. hew hew"

"How many skaters does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but it will take 13 attempts."

"How do you stop a metal from rusting? Use some antioxidants"

"In 4.5 billion years the sun will burn out but on the plus side no more sunset instagrams"

"What is a Muslim baby's first word? ""Revenge!"""

"French-related joke (semi nsfw) When does a Frenchman get his morning wood? A bonne heure."

"What has two legs and bleeds? Half a puppy."

"hey, i'm joking; my sister was never a cutter... you know how hard it is to be a cutter with your hands full of football team?"

"How does an Alzheimer's patient celebrate New Years? Kissing strangers."