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Joke of the Day

"How does a orphan change a light bulb? They grab the stack of un-signed adoption papers, stand on top of them, then proceed to change the light bulb."

"ARUGULA is my favorite vegetable whose name sounds like a car horn from the 50's."

"What'd the scientist say to the man who was frozen to absolute zero? Are you 0K?"

"What do you call a crocodile that likes to bowl? An Alley-Gator"

"Are Nicolas Cage movies terrible because he's in them? Or is Nicolas Cage in movies because they are terrible?"

"Hello OnStar? Yes I have an emergency. My wife thinks Pikachu is better than Squirtle. I left her at a gas station. Can you go get her?"

"Who is Bobby Long? and why do all these reggae artists keep talking about wanting to burn him."

"70 year old man asked his wife... Do you feel sad when u see me running behind young girls? Wife: No not at all, even dogs chase cars but they can't drive it."

"SANTA: Mhm, and I see here that you have the power of flight, which wo- SUPERMAN W/ ANTLERS TIED TO HIS HEAD: Look, I really need this job."

"How do you cure depression? A gun."