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Joke of the Day

"Why did the inventor of panadol think I had no parents? I said I'm an orphan."

"Why is it so hard to build a blonde snowman? Because you have to hollow out the head."

"Honked & did thumbs-up to teen goth girl on the street I thought looked super cool & she rolled her eyes & I was like YES EXACTLY KEEP AT IT"

"Waiting for a mannequin with a gut so I can really see how that shirt will look on me."

"You didn't even notice that I had 1/8 of an inch cut off of my hair! - women"

"I hate being a depressed atheist. Nothing to live for. Nothing to die for."

"Hi, you've reached my voicemail. Why are you doing this?"

"My narcissistic friend just became an organ donor... because ""who wouldn't want a piece of this body?"""

"Yo mama is so stank... She has to put ice between her legs to keep the crabs fresh."

"I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory... All I did was take a day off."