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Joke of the Day
"Hi, you've reached my voicemail. Why are you doing this?"
Next Joke
"Polygamy vs. Monogamy Polygamy: When a man has one too many wives. Monogamy: When a man has one too many wives."
"If you enjoy arguing about lunches at 6 AM I can't recommend parenting highly enough."
"If you're havin AutoCorrect problems I feel bad for you son. I got 99 parabolas bit s butch Saint omg."
"Why doesn't Rihanna smoke weed anymore? Because she's taken enough hits."
"shaggy: hey scoob where's my burger scooby: ruh roh shaggy: great danes only live 8 years you know scooby: ruck roo"
"I walked a girl down into the dark woods. She said it's very scary. I said how do you think i feel i have to walk back alone.."
"the girls who tweet their horoscopes every day are the same girls who get drunk and then cry at parties."
"MY ROOMBA IS SOMEHOW LOOSE OUTDOORS AND I'M TERRIFIED OF THE CONSEQUENCES FOR THE ECOSYSTEM AS IT HAS NO NATURAL PREDATORS."
"if you're stuck in a group text, an easy way out is to throw your phone in the street and start a new life"