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Joke of the Day
"A blind man walks into a bar. Then a chair. Then a table."
Next Joke
"I'm just a girl sitting here wondering which outfit I own goes best with bad decisions..."
"A Mexican magician says to the audience: ""For my next trick, I will disappear on the count of three. Uno... Dos..."" *POOF*. And he disappeared without a tres."
"My dad: People overcome adversity all the time son... Look at Beethoven. They told him he was deaf, but did he listen?"
"What does a clock do when its hungry? It goes back four seconds"
"Why shouldn't you hang out with zombies? They make rotten friends"
"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the other losers who missed a 15 million square mile target."
"*Pillsbury Doughboy approaches mic* I would like to apologize for my recent actions, but would remind you I never claimed to be a roll model"
"Can you cover for me/ I missed my shift."
"Women hate it when you call them ma'am or sleep with their friends."