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Joke of the Day
"We all have that one friend that looks Chinese but isn't."
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"What is a suicide bomber's biggest fear? Dying alone."
"You don't fully know your own strength until someone tries to pull you onto a dancefloor against your will."
"If you're reading this.. then you are not Floyd Mayweather."
"How do you get a little old lady to say the ""F"" word? Yell bingo."
"When I stay at a man's house that I want to see again I always ""accidentally"" lose something there, like my phone, my sweater, or my dignity."
"What do Bernie Sanders and Santa Claus have in common? They're old, promise you free shit and are red!"
"How is being a middle manager like being stuck in a tree full of monkeys? Whenever you look down, all you see is grinning faces. Whenever you look up, all you see is assholes."
"[girl chatting up guy at bar] girl: so what do you do? magician: i halve a girlfriend"
"Why the fuck do babies enjoy being thrown in the air? How terrifying would it be if a giant repeatedly tossed you above their head?"