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Joke of the Day

"Nothing is too good for my girlfriend on Valentines day... I tried to get her nothing, but she was too good for that."

"I couldnt go back to work, especially after what my shitty boss said to me. Damn, what did he say? You are fired"

"What's the hardest thing, being in a room full of sexy people? my dick"

"What you gon' do with all that junk? All that junk inside your trunk? I'ma get get get get you a Neti Pot - a concerned vet to an elephant"

"Did you hear about that religious airline? Their prophets are soaring"

"What do you call a man with a large flatfish on his head? Ray!"

"Look. If we're going with redundancies like ""tunafish"", I'll just have my beefmeat and be done with it."

"Dance like nobody's watching. Do the dishes like nobody's watching. Change into that robe like nobody's watching. No, the other one."

"Mah Dearest Emma, War on Christmas is hell. This morn, I saw 7 elves stabbed with 1 menorah. I fear this nog soaked yuletide may nevah end."

"So a guy walks into a cow Moo"