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Joke of the Day

"Today I met one of those people on the bus that gets all pissed off when you put your finger in their mouth when they yawn."

"How's the oil industry doing these days? It's in the tank."

"We've got an aviary at home, Sadly one of our birds of prey will only exercise at night to 80's music. Our Kestrel Manoeuvres In The Dark"

"What's the difference between a roasted chicken and a time bomb? If you don't know the answer please never invite me to dinner."

"I've been e-mailing William Shakespeare. William Shakespeare's dead silly. No wonder he hasn't replied."

"What's an Ancient Roman's favorite sex position? LXIX."

"My girlfriend asked, ""Why do we always stay home for dinner and never eat out?"" Obviously if I was any good at eating out, then you wouldn't be complaining about staying home."

"We live in a time of delicious cakes."

"A dad asks his son, ""What has four legs but isn't alive?"" The son says,""Nice try dad, a chair!"" ""Not this time son, our dog is dead"""

"Why couldn't Diablo get his bros out of jail? He couldn't pay for Baal"