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Joke of the Day

"We've got an aviary at home, Sadly one of our birds of prey will only exercise at night to 80's music. Our Kestrel Manoeuvres In The Dark"

"what did the priest say before he ate his salad? lettuce pray"

"Two random variables were talking in a bar They thought they were being discrete but I heard them continuously."

"i have a very frustrated pet at home... its a turtle that loves to chase cars"

"Last time I had sex, it felt like the 100m Olympic final. There were 8 black men and a gun."

"Do you know why police dogs are called the K-9? Because if it were called the K-10, they would be police cats"

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean."

"NSFW Anal With My Girlfriend When ever my girlfriend and I have anal; it makes my day, but it makes her (w)hole week"

"""What're you in for?"" ""I had a solid tweet *takes drag off cigarette* and no one faved it. I just lost it."" ""We've all been there, brother."""

"Hilary Clinton will make the best president She will save us 25% in salary right from the start."