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Joke of the Day

"""Sexting"" is the sending of sexually explicit text and picture messages. It is not, apparently, an appropriate way to submit a resume."

"What's the difference between a Mexican and an elevator? An elevator can raise a family I'll just see myself out."

"An army of pandas descends on a fortress of evil trolls. The pandas are soft, cuddly, & deadly. It's the most adorable massacre in history."

"What climate scientist does Disney follow on twitter? The rogue one"

"What did the Triceratops sit on? Its Tricerabottom."

"Why is Hannibal so rich? Well, he save on groceries."

"I'm in that fun part of a relationship where everything is new and exciting and we are learning things about each other and I don't poop."

"[skywriting] Karen, do you have the checkbook? The skywriting guy won't let me out of the plane until he gets his deposit."

"I'm celebrating 200 years of the buffalo. It's the bison-tennial!"

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? By walking. Jk. Rowling"