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Joke of the Day

"""Sexting"" is the sending of sexually explicit text and picture messages. It is not, apparently, an appropriate way to submit a resume."

"A Woman has an orgasm everytime she sneezes. Her friend is worried and asks, ""What do you take for it?"" She says, ""Pepper."""

"The most tedious aspect of my job is the part where I have to jiggle the mouse every 30 minutes to keep the screensaver from activating."

"[last supper] Judas: Here, I brought this Jesus: A bottle of wine? Srsly? I need that like I need a hole in my hand Judas: *winks at camera*"

"Why don't you come sit on my lap and we can talk about the first thing that pops up?"

"Why Trump will win the election? He will use his Trump-card."

"A boy says to his step-dad ""You're not my real dad"", and his step-dad says ""you're right, because I'm here right now""."

"I've made the front page 5 times! The girls on /r/creepyPMs are really mean and don't understand the P means Private."

"What is E.T. short for? Hes got wee legs"

"I think I invented some new Kama sutra moves trying to reach the remote without getting up."