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Joke of the Day

"I'm getting mighty fed up with these sheep-human hybrids! What is with ewe people!?"

"What is the difference between the substance inside a fire hydrant and the substance on the outside of it? H20 is on the inside, and K9P is on the outside."

"My wife spiked my dinner with viagra and gave me an epidural. No hard feelings."

"Did you hear about the football player that went to prison ? He went from being a tight end to being a wide receiver"

"What do smoking a cigarette and eating pussy have in common? The closer you get to the butt, the stronger the taste."

"What did the Hammerhead shark say to his buddies when he got laid? Nailed it."

"I have no home. I've got no control. There's no escape. I should probably look into getting a new keyboard."

"What's the worst part of giving a magician a ride home? When you get there, you turn into the driveway. Ba-dum-bum! Don't forget to tip your waitress!"

"Did you hear about when Sting got a new mobile phone? He sent out an SMS to the world."

"I'm a party animal... because when I go to parties I end up pissing on the floor"