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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between the substance inside a fire hydrant and the substance on the outside of it? H20 is on the inside, and K9P is on the outside."

"How to get laid. A guide. Steps: 1. Lay on Bed 2. Wait 2 hours 3. Lay becomes past tense."

"My friend said this in the middle of class. Best joke I have EVER heard. Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 knew what 6 and 9 were doing."

"Why doesn't Smokey the Bear have any children? Every time his wife gets hot he beats her with a shovel."

"men: women are very hard to read women: actually, we just want- men: such complex creatures women: if u just liste- men: so mysterious"

"Don't you sometimes wish that you could just click like' on someone's like'?"

"""Look slightly worried."" - picture advice from The Singer/Songwriter's Handbook"

"What do you call a dictionary on drugs? High Definition."

"Q: Why would you take a hammer to bed? A: So you could hit the sack."

"You're breaking up with me because I ""don't put food in the correct things?"" WTF? After I've JUST made you a delicious bowl of toast??"