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Joke of the Day
"Where does a burger go on vacation? The Swiss (cheese) Alps or The Cheeseapeake Valley!"
Next Joke
"Someone should create a Trump parody Twitter account... That only retweets all the stuff he actually posts"
"I wanted to make a joke about black people dads But I don't know any."
"{after you tell me about your horrible, yet life altering near-death experience} ""Have you seen my charger?"""
"I just became a proud dad today... My son is actually four but he was a boring little cunt for the first three years."
"Two potatos are in an oven.. .. One potato says to the other, ""It's hot in here"" Then the other potato says, ""Oh my god, a talking potato!"""
"Listen. I may be a nerd, but I have had sex. Just ask my wife. (Please don't ask my wife.)"
"Why are false teeth like stars? Because they come out at night."
"Friends: Let's roll a fatty Me: I have a name guys and pls don't"
"Mall Santa: what do you want for Christmas? Me: drugs. Mall Santa *whispers* meet me in the food court in 20 minutes."