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Joke of the Day

"Two potatos are in an oven.. .. One potato says to the other, ""It's hot in here"" Then the other potato says, ""Oh my god, a talking potato!"""

"Slipped on a tube of toothpaste this morning. I was crestfallen."

"Q: Why do marble statues look so mean? A: They have hearts of stone."

"How is Ellen Pao so good at driving Reddit into the ground? I thought Asian women couldn't drive &#3232;_&#3232;"

"I'm off to buy a 3-D printer. Which I'll use to make another 3-D printer. Then return the first one."

"You know what Trump and the Note 7 have in common? You know it will blow up, just not when."

"Tom Cruise Jokes, Anyone?"

"""I'm gonna die. What is happening. Whaaa-ooahh actually that's not bad"" - first guy to poop"

"After Dante was Iced He went to the ""Inferno"" cause it was warm :P"

"My fat next door neighbor is lying face down on her front lawn. Don't know if she's passed out or eating the grass."