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Joke of the Day

"Two pharaohs farted at the same time. They had a toot in common."

"When is a door not a door? When it's ajar."

"What part of the Vatican is made entirely out of amino acids? The Cysteine Chapel"

"WIFE: I can't take it anymore. Your incorrect use of idioms is tearing us apart! ME [taking her hand]: Cat got your tongue?"

"me: just tell me I don't die in an Arby's bathroom stall Death: [sadly looking up from his book] look, what matters is how you lived"

"What do you call an accountant who is seen talking to someone? Popular"

"Abortions are so fun... ...they really bring out the kid in you"

"What do you call a cannibal that only eats midgets? Anorexic"

"Did you heard about the elephant that was a hoarder? He had a lot of junk in the trunk. Come on, be easy on me, I made that up myself while staring at elephants at the zoo yesterday."

"Sign language is a pretty handy skill"