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Joke of the Day

"WIFE: I can't take it anymore. Your incorrect use of idioms is tearing us apart! ME [taking her hand]: Cat got your tongue?"

"Hey, women that breastfeed in public... What's with you not winking back?"

"What's the difference between a white woman and a tampon? They're both stuck up cunts."

"The Clippers are gonna be bought by the former CEO of Microsoft. Apparently he's looking for something to occupy himself while Windows is installing ""critical updates."""

"What did the pirate say when he saw the dank meme? arrr lmao"

"Dark humor is like clean water... Not everyone gets some."

"I put a message in a bottle and threw it in the Ocean. The note said ""I have Tuberculosis and I coughed in this bottle"""

"What did one eye say to the other? Between you and me there's something that smells."

"Don't you love the tan lines that girls get after sunbathing? It's almost like God came down and highlighted all the important parts."

"Why could Frankenstein's Monster not have children? Because his nuts were in his neck!"