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Joke of the Day

"WIFE: I can't take it anymore. Your incorrect use of idioms is tearing us apart! ME [taking her hand]: Cat got your tongue?"

"What do you call a party with no Filipino people? A no-Nguyen scenario."

"We are happily married She's happy, and I am married!"

"What was the last thing that went through Princess Diana's head? The steering wheel."

"{marriage counseling} I guess it all started when I saw him put the toothpaste on before the water... *therapist scribbles furiously*"

"CASHIER: One ultrathin lubricated condom. That'll be $3.25 DUCK: Can you put it on my bill? CASHIER: That's not where it goes, silly"

"I'm getting my hacked GTAV account back! Said no one"

"What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels."

"""Where do escalators come from?"" ""Well, when an Escalade and an alligator love each other very much..."""

"It's a sad moment when you realize the trash goes out more often than you do."