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Joke of the Day

"A doctor in a mental hospital was caught having sex with a female patient. He was Fucking Crazy!"

"Why did the skull not want to go to prom, but still did? He didn't have any *body* to go with But he still really wanted to bone."

"Me: How long have we had that pillow? Wife: No idea Memory foam pillow: Two years, five months and two days"

"What game did the Rabbi play with the Baby? PeekaJew"

"Headlice are now resistant to the usual medical treatments.... The problem has scientists scratching their heads."

"Thank you Facebook, I can now farm without going outside, cook without being in my kitchen, feed fish I don't have & waste an entire day without having a life."

"I'm going to put my limbs into each corner of a fitted sheet and attempt to become a sugar glider."

"My 3 yr old is so encouraging. I changed my shirt; she says""Daddy, you did it!"" If she finds out I use the potty by myself, she'll flip out."

"What did one alcoholic say to the other alcoholic? I forget"

"Why did Mr. Clinton want to become President? Because it pays the bills."