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Joke of the Day

"Headlice are now resistant to the usual medical treatments.... The problem has scientists scratching their heads."

"Girlfriend and I placed a bet to see who was better at Super Smash Bros for the N64 I beat her so badly! I do wish we had a chance to actually play a race before I had to take her to the hospital..."

"What is a pirate's least favorite letter? A letter from the cable company..."

"Why do flowers and beer get along so well? They're buds"

"Hey guys I just discovered something... It's called Christopher Columbus. I later robbed and killed him."

"If an athlete gets athlete's foot what does an astronaut get? Missile toe."

"Is it wrong to follow people just because they're hot? Also, what about on Twitter?"

"How do you make a handkerchief dance? ....put a little boogie in it. :| I'm sorry."

"Did you hear about the new sprinklers from Australia? They're Aussielating."

"A recent survey shows... A recent survey shows that nine out of ten people masturbate in the shower. Do you know what the tenth does? No? I guess you're one of the nine then."