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Joke of the Day

"""Don't let your inner child die!"" could be a slogan for an anti abortion campaign."

"'So where do you work?' 'I work for the World Health Organisation' 'Who?' 'That's right'"

"were do animals go when their tails fall off? The retail store. Edit: WHERE NOT WERE I'M RETARDED I KNOW :((((("

"Cop: You were going 30 over the speed limit Me: Are you sure about that? *gives him a handful of Cheez-Its* Cop: Have a nice day, sir."

"When I was young I had a fairy God mother. She said I could have one wish, either a long memory or a long penis. I can't remember what I asked for."

"What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut you racist bastard"

"Dad: When you turn 18, I'm taking you to the strip club. Teen: Of course not dad! Dad: Oh shut up Jessica, it's time for you to start bringing money to the house."

"Saw a bumper sticker that said 'Jesus is the answer.' Two cars later I saw one that said 'Who farted?' Best game of Highway Jeopardy ever."

"TOO MUCH PROTEIN? No whey mate"

"Caller: Is Mr. Rock available? Me: Yeah, hold on. *hands phone to 5yo* Me: It's grandma, buddy. Tell her about Caillou."