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Joke of the Day

"""Premature ejaculation man I NEED HELP!!"" I'M COMING!"

"Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?"

"What's the difference between an American and a moldy piece of bread? The bread has more culture."

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? None, on a sunny day their light comes from the glass ceiling. edit; missing words"

"You go in for an interview for a Linux programming job... ...and you are asked for an example of your linux programming abilities, so you type into the terminal ""sudo apt-get JOB"""

"My aunt is trying to convince me that I'm gonna have kids. I named my kittens lunchbox and cocaine Steve. No one is gonna let me have a kid."

"For some reason I'm an extremely secretive person. Don't ask me why"

"Studies show that spying on people is good for humanity. Power to the peep-hole!"

"Quick question... How many Facebook pokes before it's okay to ask her to take a load to the face?"

"As a white man, I cannot celebrate Black history month, but I can celebrate Father's Day."